Coley vs. Spiders
I was just sitting staring off into space when I saw this little spider run across the floor. I hate spiders they move too quickly which means they can’t be trusted. Normally I stop at nothing to murder a spider but this time I thought, “maybe I’ll let this one go. He’s little, it’s late, no need to get all homicidal on him.” Then I thought “remember in Saving Private Ryan when they let that one German soldier go & he joined up with the nazis and came back & killed one of those guys? Who knows how many of our guys he took out before that point… you need to kill that spider you can’t let him live. He’ll come back with his friends.” And that’s when I realized that I should get professional help and there is no way that my war against spiders is like the war against the nazis. I felt like the biggest asshole comparing my spider war to world war II. No one gets PTSD from living in a house built in the 20’s on a half acre of land that has a million spiders in it. My house is not the beach at Normandy. But… I’m convinced it’s pretty similar. It comes close I’m sure. God I’m an asshole.